Eyebrow Raisers and Double Takes
This Week: The Masturazor by Shots Media
Thanks to Shots Media, an adult DVD distributing company from the Netherlands that has been dabbling in sex toy manufacturing, the world is now blessed with this multitasking product. The Masturazor may look normal enough: brightly colored, phallic, sperm-reminiscent tail, but it has something that other vibrators don't.
And that would be a RAZOR on the tail end.
One can see why most vibrators do not have this feature. While I like my toys a little on the quirky side, having an insertable vibe with a pop off end to reveal a set of blades has never been one of my kinks. Mind you, the pop off end has been shown by those who have tried the toy to not stay on. I will say this again: the protective covering on the razor, doesn't stay closed. Great.
The Masturazor (yes, that would be masturbating with razors I surmise) has so much wrong with it, it just might be right. Except I'm pretty sure it's still wrong.
Personal opinions about genital hedge trimming aside, is it really necessary to have one product to get you off and shave with? Are you really too busy to deal with juggling a waterproof vibe and a normal razor. I would tend to think people would benefit from not being able to hold both items at the same time. I nick my legs enough without having post-coital jelly legs.
American sites refer to the product as the Touche Masturazor. Maybe for me the word "touche" conjures up one too many (and one is too many) classic sword fights to be a good tagline for a dildo with a blad e on the end! I'm seeing a competitive lesbian couple using this product in the shower before suddently yellling "Touche!" as they begin fencing with each other using pink and purple vibrating swords.
While it is blissfully made of 100% silicone, it is only splash-proof, not waterproof. For something meant to used in the shower, this seems like a problem.
The product description for the Masturazor on the Shots Media page begins with this quote:
"The Masturazor is the world’s first personal womaniser! Always ready to give the erotic feelings you crave… "
I did brush up on my definition of the term "womaniser" just to be sure I wasn't mistaken, but yes, it indeed does refer to a man (or in this cas e object) who has many short, sexual relations with many women. I don't want my sex toy to be a player. That is a BAD thing, Shots Media. And I love that ellipsis they've tacked on the end there. What are you trailing off on? Always ready to give the erotic feelings you crave...and a good vaginal stabbing?
If you are intrigued, or masocistic, or just more brave than I am, you can check out the Masturazor on Eden Fantasys where it is going for $59.99, which is a steal compared to Shots Media's $110.64 price tag.
And that would be a RAZOR on the tail end.
One can see why most vibrators do not have this feature. While I like my toys a little on the quirky side, having an insertable vibe with a pop off end to reveal a set of blades has never been one of my kinks. Mind you, the pop off end has been shown by those who have tried the toy to not stay on. I will say this again: the protective covering on the razor, doesn't stay closed. Great.
The Masturazor (yes, that would be masturbating with razors I surmise) has so much wrong with it, it just might be right. Except I'm pretty sure it's still wrong.
Personal opinions about genital hedge trimming aside, is it really necessary to have one product to get you off and shave with? Are you really too busy to deal with juggling a waterproof vibe and a normal razor. I would tend to think people would benefit from not being able to hold both items at the same time. I nick my legs enough without having post-coital jelly legs.
American sites refer to the product as the Touche Masturazor. Maybe for me the word "touche" conjures up one too many (and one is too many) classic sword fights to be a good tagline for a dildo with a blad e on the end! I'm seeing a competitive lesbian couple using this product in the shower before suddently yellling "Touche!" as they begin fencing with each other using pink and purple vibrating swords.
While it is blissfully made of 100% silicone, it is only splash-proof, not waterproof. For something meant to used in the shower, this seems like a problem.
The product description for the Masturazor on the Shots Media page begins with this quote:
"The Masturazor is the world’s first personal womaniser! Always ready to give the erotic feelings you crave… "
I did brush up on my definition of the term "womaniser" just to be sure I wasn't mistaken, but yes, it indeed does refer to a man (or in this cas e object) who has many short, sexual relations with many women. I don't want my sex toy to be a player. That is a BAD thing, Shots Media. And I love that ellipsis they've tacked on the end there. What are you trailing off on? Always ready to give the erotic feelings you crave...and a good vaginal stabbing?
If you are intrigued, or masocistic, or just more brave than I am, you can check out the Masturazor on Eden Fantasys where it is going for $59.99, which is a steal compared to Shots Media's $110.64 price tag.
You describe it like it's an old-timey straight-edge razor, when it looks to me more like a mini beard (or in this case, bearded clam) trimmer. They're half-decent for thinning the forest, but useless for clear cutting. And I'm being generous with that "half-decent" remark.
ReplyDeleteAlso, they're nigh incapable of cutting skin, even the soft thin skin around your genitals.
Not that I've used the product, or think swiss army dildos are brilliant ideas. I'm just saying it's probably safer than you think.
I'm thinking about patenting a vibrator with a can opener attached. You know, to open lube that comes in cans. Oh, and it will also have an alarm clock and play mp3's. What do you think?
Oh I'm sure it is not at all deadly or even nick-worthy. It still, however, seems like a scary idea to me. I mean, sure there are people with shaving kinks out there and more power to them, but other than that, I'm just not sure why this needs to be a multitasking tool. I don't know about other people, but when I'm looking to get off, I'm not usually thinking, Ah, man--I wish I could shave my legs too. I'm usually preoccupied.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm just imagining that one person (you know the one--the one who is the reason they have to have that 'Do not use while sleeping' warning on hairdryers) who would mess this up and insert the wrong end. Maybe if the closure STAYED closed I'd be down with it.
I am rather interested in your idea. Would your vibe have external speakers or would you get a really neat repetitive muffling of the music with use? Could one, perhaps, beatbox or mix with your vibe in this manner? and would that be called boxbox'ing?